A
blonde, a brunette, and a redhead go to a male strip club.
The brunette, who wanted to impress her friends when the
male dancer came to their table, pulled out a $10 bill and
waved it at the gorgeous young stud. With a wink and a smile,
he turned, shaking his ass for the three awestruck ladies.
The brunette then licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his
left ass cheek. Not to be outdone, the redhead took out
a $50 bill, licked it, and stuck it to his right ass cheek.
The male stripper smiled appreciatively, and headed toward
the blonde, to see what she would do. The blonde looked
nervously in her purse. She only had a $5 bill. Getting
a brilliant idea, she grabbed her atm card, swiped it down
the crack of his ass, and took the $60 bucks. (Email this joke to a friend)
A
blonde man comes home from work and hears moaning and screaming
from the bedroom. so he goes upstairs and finds his wife
lying on the bed naked, sweaty, and panting. he asked her
what was wrong and she said, "I'm having a heart attack"
so he runs downstairs to call 911 when one of his little
kids comes to him and says, "daddy,daddy uncle bob's
hiding in the closet naked." the furious blond man
goes back upstairs and sure enough he finds his naked brother
in the closet and says to him, "you son-of-a-bitch,
my wife's having a heartattack and you're running around
naked scaring the kids!"
Q:
What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through
a garden hose?
A: Darling.
Q:
What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everybody has been in a 747.
Q:
Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q:
Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
Q:
What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk !"
Q:
What's the mating call of the brunette?
A: "All the blondes have gone home!"
Q:
Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits go in first.
Q:
What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces herself.
A2: Walks home.
Q:
What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until
they go down on you.
Q:
Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.
Q:
Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.
Q:
What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"
Q:
Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.
Q:
Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Q:
What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
Q:
What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their
head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.
Q:
How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A: Fertilized.
Q:
What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q:
What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
Q:
What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.
Q:
Why was the blondes' belly button sore?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.
Q:
What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.
Q:
What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.
Q:
Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.
Q:
Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
Q:
Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.
Q:
Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.
Q:
What is the blonde's favorite potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).
Q:
What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.
Q:
What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.
Q:
Did you hear about the blond who had two chances to get
pregnant?
A: She blew it both times!
Q:
What do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you
on one.
Q:
How do you know when a blond's been in your fridge?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!
Q:
What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win.
Q:
What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable
doll?
A: About 2 cans of hair spray
Q:
What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.
Q:
Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q:
What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked
up by 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.'
Q:
Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
Q:
Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
Q:
What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q:
Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after
a blonde drives a car?
A: Because she blows the horn!
Q:
Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
Q:
Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.
Q:
Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!
Q:
What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.
Q:
What does a blonde consider to be long and hard?
A: Grade 4.
Q:
What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father
owns a pub.
Q:
How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun
fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry
worry!
Q:
What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
Q:
Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into
the back seat.
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